A Grand Illusion Read online

  Thinking fast, she forced the censure out of her voice and gave both of them an innocent smile. 'Have you forgotten you were going to meet me after work today, Meg? This morning you said you had some shopping to do and then we'd go home together. I was looking forward to it.' She glanced at the narrow watch on her wrist. 'Goodness! It's three-thirty already. That doesn't give you much time, does it?'

  The frosty glint of grey flashing from Royce Drummond's eyes told her she hadn't fooled him.

  Meg stamped her foot in frustration, but he was not to be outdone.

  'It's all right, Meg. I wouldn't want to interfere with your sister's plans this afternoon. How about dinner tonight? Shall I pick you up at eight?'

  Meg's ill temper evaporated like mist in sunshine. 'I'll be ready.'

  Sickened, Jenna turned away without another word.

  But when she got home that evening, she let Meg feel the full force of her temper. 'I expected you to meet me after work!' she snapped.

  'You just made that up so I couldn't spend the rest of the afternoon with Royce. All you ever do is window-shop anyway. You never spend any money. I needed the time to get ready for tonight.'

  'What do you think you're doing,' Jenna exploded. 'All right, you want to model again—I can understand that. But to agree to work hand in glove with Royce Drummond is insanity. If you won't think of Robbie, think of me. I'm trying to provide for us. I want us to stay together as a family. Since Mom and Dad died, we're all we have left.'

  'You've got a nerve, telling me not to work with him!' Meg rounded on her. 'You're his secretary! For somebody who doesn't want to get involved with him, you're not doing so well yourself! I was shocked when he told me you've worked together for a month already.'

  'I'm not involved with him. I only see him in the office. I don't see him socially the way you do.'

  'You looked pretty social to me this afternoon.'

  Jenna let out a harsh breath and kicked off her shoes. 'That was the first time, and it was strictly business.'

  'Some business,' Meg said spitefully. 'A three-and-a-half-hour lunch with the most handsome man in Toronto. Yet you won't even let me bring him home for a drink!'

  'You can't bring him home. What about Robbie?'

  'What about him?' Meg hissed. 'He knows you have a son. He wouldn't think anything of it.'

  'Royce Drummond isn't stupid,' Jenna reminded her.

  'That kid is ruining my life,' she wailed. 'I can't even bring a man home in the afternoon for a drink!'

  'It wouldn't have been only a drink and you know it!'

  Meg's face turned an ugly red. 'Since when have you started judging my morals? Robbie was an accident—I explained that. Peter was consoling me after Mom and Dad's funeral, but in ordinary circumstances it never would have happened.'

  'You don't have to make excuses,' Jenna sighed, immediately apologising. 'I'm sorry I said anything. It's over and done with. I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to keep you from making another mistake.'

  'Well, I'm not going to quit living. As soon as I start getting a salary, I'm finding somewhere else to live. I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself,' declared Meg.

  Meg would never know how much those words hurt. Her mother had made her promise to take care of Meg before she died, but Jenna had really botched the job. Failure and guilt, however unjustified, weighed heavily on her and she rubbed her temples with her fingers. 'Do we have any aspirin left? I've got a pounding headache.'

  'In the bathroom,' said Meg with a pout. 'And be quiet, for heaven's sake! The kid's only been asleep for an hour. Mrs Graham watched him today and she said he was a regular little tartar, whatever that means.'

  'I've asked you not to call him the "kid",' snapped Jenna, rapidly losing the tight control she kept on her emotions. 'And Mrs Graham's wrong. He's not bad-tempered, he's just recovering from a bad bout of bronchitis.' She sighed defeatedly. 'If you're going to be working now, we've got to find a more reliable babysitter. Someone younger, with more patience.' She shook the aspirins into her hand and walked back to the kitchen.

  'Mrs Graham's good enough,' said Meg. 'With five of her own, she's got the experience, even if she doesn't have the patience.'

  'No,' Jenna swallowed the aspirins with a grimace. 'Robbie needs a lot of love and attention. She won't do at all.'

  'Oh well, you'll think of something,' Meg said brightly. 'After all, he's your son and your responsibility. I think that's Royce now.' She threw an exotic green satin cape over her shoulders and disappeared out the door.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jenna leaned back in her chair and swivelled it to look out the window, seeking the calming influence of Toronto's skyline. All day, beautiful women paraded through her office to be interviewed by her boss for a new line of summer sportswear he had agreed to advertise. Having to maintain an air of cool unconcern and brisk efficiency in the face of such unequalled beauty left her drained. Her hair had long since come undone from its tidy knot and fell down her back in tangled brown waves. Finding a rubber band in the back of a drawer, she looped it around the hair at her nape and decided not to worry about it. The day was almost over anyway.

  When Royce Drummond's office door opened, Jenna turned back to her desk, ready in case he barked out a command. But he didn't even see her. He only had eyes for the redhaired beauty clinging to his side.

  She couldn't tear her gaze away from his bent head as he kissed the woman passionately on her moist red mouth. A shudder ran through her when she noticed the way she was pressing herself against the entire length of his body to make closer contact. Never in her wildest dreams could Jenna imagine being kissed like that.

  There was a lot of heavy breathing before Royce seemed to remember where he was. He caught sight of Jenna and laughed at the colour running up her neck. 'We're embarrassing my secretary, Alexandra,' he said with a mocking grin. 'Perhaps we should continue this interview tonight in a more private place?'

  'Oh, darling! That would be wonderful.' Her voice was husky and deeply sensuous. 'What time?'

  'Will eight be all right?'

  'That's per—'

  'I'm sorry, sir,' Jenna cut in with an ice-cold voice, more angry at herself than at him. Why would she even want to picture herself in his arms? 'Have you forgotten you have a meeting tonight at seven? It'll take up most of the evening.'

  'Meeting?' He stared at her blankly, trying to read her closed face.

  'It has to do with transporting, sir.' A frown creased his forehead and she knew he didn't know what she was talking about. Maybe she should have worded it differently, but she couldn't baldly say he had a previous date, so she tried to make it sound like a business meeting. 'It came up suddenly last week, but you said you'd be there and I should remind you.'

  'Oh, Royce,' the beautiful Alexandra pouted, 'can't you put it off?'

  He continued to look at Jenna's set face, a resentful muscle quivering in his jaw, then he let out a small exasperated sigh. 'Am I free tomorrow?'

  She consulted her calendar. 'Yes, sir.'

  'Then how about tomorrow, Alexandra?' He turned on his most placating smile full of unspoken promise. 'Will I be worth the wait?'

  Jenna turned away, sickened at all the phoney charm oozing from him, and made a pretence of looking for something in her bottom drawer. Her skin crawled when she heard the two of them murmuring throaty whispers.

  If only I wasn't plain… The refrain began again in her head and she forced it to stop. Even if she was beautiful, Royce Drummond wouldn't give her a second glance. She was his secretary, nothing more, and she was determined never to give him an inkling of how she was attracted to him. There was no way she'd leave herself open to the pain and unhappiness that would be sure to follow if she did. She could just imagine the laugh he'd have at her expense!

  A short ragged breath caught in her throat when she noticed two highly polished black shoes standing close to her chair.

  'Now what the hell do you mean, I have a meeting
tonight?' he ground through his teeth, anger vibrating all around him.

  Jenna straightened, trying to remain unruffled, and saw that they were alone. 'You offered to help Meg move to her new apartment,' she said quietly, getting to her feet and putting a safe distance between them.

  'Does it have to be tonight?'

  'You've put her off twice already, but you promised her nothing would stand in your way a third time. I realise you're beginning to lose interest in her, but she anxious to get settled in. And you did offer.'

  He stared hard at her and finally let out a harsh breath. There was no way he could get out of it, but his anger had to find an outlet somewhere. 'Why couldn't she be like you?' he sneered. 'Being the efficient paragon that you are, you didn't have to ask for my help. You've already moved all your own things, and your son's, haven't you?'

  She stiffened and lost a little of her colour. 'You offered to help Meg, Mr Drummond.'

  'Does it make you feel high-and-mighty not to need anybody?'

  She didn't answer him.

  'Or do you need my help too, but you're just too proud to ask?' His tone took on a silky menacing quality and his eyes skimmed over her stiffly lifted chin.

  'No, sir. I don't need your help.'

  'Why not?'

  She stared out the window.

  'You aren't going with Meg,' he said slowly, tilting his head to one side, searching her closed expression. 'You aren't, are you? I can tell by the way you've clammed up.'

  'It has nothing to do with you.'

  'So where are you going if not with her?'

  Jenna pressed her lips tightly together, not answering.

  'Meg told me the house you're living in has been sold and the new owners have given you only a month's notice to find other living quarters. That was two weeks ago. Have you found something? Have you already moved out?'

  Her breath was expelled harshly, letting him know without saying anything she found his questioning offensive.

  But he didn't take the hint. 'It can't be easy, finding a place that allows children. Meg left you in the lurch, didn't she? I know she's not too fond of dirty diapers and spilled milk, from the things she'd said.'

  'I've told you before, my private life is private. Where I live and with whom has nothing to do with you.'

  'If you need a bigger salary to afford a decent place for your son, all you have to do is ask.'

  Her chin shot up and her lips tightened to a thin white line. Her rigid pride would ask nothing from him for Robbie. 'That's not at all necessary. My salary is more than adequate. It's my problem. I'll handle it in my own way. I told Meg to expect you at seven.' She turned back to her desk, but he stepped in front of her, blocking her way, his whole manner relentlessly probing.

  'Not so fast! I've gone and done it, haven't I?'

  Jenna shivered, averting her face at the sudden gentling of his tone, trying to ignore the trickle of nervousness slithering down her spine. 'I don't know what you mean.'

  'Yes, you do. Whenever I mention anything about your son, I can see a change come over you. There's hurt in your eyes even though you try to hide it behind that wall of ice. Did you love his father very much?'

  She jerked away violently, glaring at him, contempt in every trembling limb. 'You have no right to ask me such a thing!' The grim twisting of his lips goaded her on. 'You don't know what love' is. You, of all people, have no right to even mention that word!'

  It was only a heart-stopping instant before his long arms reached for her, crushing her shoulders, pulling her close to the rigid length of his body. 'Why? Why do you say me—of all people? You know women fall all over me. They tell me I'm a great lover.' He was shaking with rage, his fingers becoming tight iron talons.

  'What you feel isn't love,' she choked, struggling, trying to twist away from him.

  His fingers ripped the rubber band from her hair before threading through the tangled brown thickness. 'You know all about it, don't you?' he muttered close to her face. 'You with your disdainful little smiles and carefully blank expressions. You're always judging me, aren't you? You, a woman who was dragged off her pedestal a long time ago. Every time you see me with a woman you despise me for taking what she offers. Or is it yourself you despise?'

  Jenna thought she had perfected the mask of indifference, but it was suddenly shattered, exposing all her fruitless yearning to his eyes. Oh, how could she? She should have known she couldn't handle the attraction he had for her. She should have avoided him like the plague. Where was all the cool disdain that helped her through these last two months?

  Her breath was strangling in her throat and she fought against the mad pounding of her heart and the tremors racing up and down her spine. 'Let me go,' she breathed, trying to dredge up the ice-cold voice always so effective in keeping men away before.

  Royce searched her shimmering blue eyes so bright with repudiation, and his voice shook. 'Did he promise you the world, then walk out on you? Is that what's turned you into this frigid little iceberg?'

  Her eyes closed. At once she wished she'd kept them open. She could feel the violence in him, the taut power of his legs pressed against hers making her traitorous body tremble, and the bruising pressure of his hands in her hair, holding her still, arching her neck up to him.

  This never should have happened, she thought wildly. I never should have said anything. I should have let him go with that last model and hired someone to help Meg.

  Trying to despise him, she was shocked at this boneless, floating loss of control over her own body. She struggled against the sensation, hating herself, knowing it was madness.

  'You must have loved a man once,' he murmured huskily. 'Is there any of the passion you must have felt left? Or has all that ice choked out the fire?' His lips brushed the curve of her neck as she arched away from him, tasting the warm creamy skin, feathering along her madly pounding pulse before making his way to her mouth, where he surprised her by gently resting his lips against hers before brushing them back and forth in a caress.

  She expected him to be ruthless and demanding. But when he wasn't, somewhere deep inside her an unsuspected sensation flared, trapping her in its gripping spell. Shaking, she found herself clinging to him, her hands mindlessly curling into the bunching muscles of his back and shoulders. She was stunned by this instinctive response, maddened by its all-enveloping power.

  He wasn't content with tasting her lips for long. He gently coaxed them apart, insistent, relentless, tantalising.

  Shocked at this violation of her senses, and her own trembling delight in it, Jenna shuddered, hating herself more and more but powerless to move away from him.

  'Mmmm, you taste good,' he murmured into her mouth. 'And the scent of your skin fills my mind. What kind of perfume are you wearing? I don't recognise it.'

  Jenna's whole body clenched with a violent stiffening jerk. She never wore perfume but Robbie's baby powder always seemed to cling to her skin and everything she wore. Robbie! And here she was in the arms of the one man who must never know of his true parentage.

  Wrenching herself away from him, she breathed deeply, trying not to let him see how much he affected her.

  He didn't move. His arms hung lifelessly at his sides. His face was as white as hers was red, his eyes a brilliant opaque grey, watching all kinds of turbulent emotions chasing across her face before she could capture them and hide them behind an indifferent mask.

  'Well, well,' he said unsteadily.

  'If you're through amusing yourself, Mr Drummond, I'll be going. It's after five.' Her voice could have frozen the warmest summer sun. It must give him some kind of thrill to go from one woman straight into the arms of another. Surprisingly her legs didn't buckle when she stepped past him to her desk. Of all the idiotic things she had ever done in her life, this was the worst. Why don't I take a number and stand in line along with all the other women blinded by his charm? she thought wretchedly, whipping up an anger to wipe out all the other traitorous emotions swamping he
r. I wonder what colour roses he'd choose for me? She wanted to laugh. The thought of this gorgeous man kissing a girl like her was ludicrous. It only proved no one was immune to the charm of depravity. She should have had more sense.

  His mouth thinned as, apparently unmoved, she gathered her things together in silence. 'What, no hysterics? No, "you'll have my resignation on your desk first thing in the morning"?'

  Jenna kept her voice low. 'If that's what's happened to every other secretary you've ever had, I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed this time. I need this job more than I despise you. Would you have me resign because you gave in to a sudden mad impulse?' Her chin lifted with all that was left of her tattered pride. 'Alexandra is a very beautiful woman and you wanted her. I realise I made you angry when I reminded you of your promise to Meg. You were merely venting your frustration on me.'

  'Is that right?' he sneered, looking suddenly wounded. 'And do you consider it one of your duties as the paragon of secretaries to respond the way you did to a mere "venting of frustration"?'

  It was all she could do to force an answer through her stiff lips. 'You don't need me to tell you you're an expert in the art of seduction. You probably could wring a response from a stone!'

  'But it didn't really touch you? Is that what you're saying?'

  'I'm sorry if I'm bruising your ego, but no, you didn't really touch me.'

  'Your body told me differently.'

  'My body, perhaps. But my soul, no.'

  His face became livid. 'You don't have a soul, Paragon!'

  Jenna gave him a cold little smile full of as much disdain as she could find and started out of the office.

  'I'll take you home,' Royce muttered ungraciously. 'Since you made sure I'd have to go your way anyway.'

  'No, thanks.' She didn't even turn around. 'I'm not going home yet.'

  'Do you mean you actually have a date?' he sneered. 'Who's the lucky man? Don't tell me, let me guess. Chad Redwicke? I've noticed how much time he spends in the halls ogling all the girls. He's probably the type to make your cold little heart flutter.'